THE PHRASE ‘ITS ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK’ MAKES ME SO ANGRY BECAUSE FUCKING DUH ITS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK WHY WOULD YOU KEEP LOOKING IF YOU FOUND IT
It makes me so angry, that a banana is a berry
OH MY GOD
are we not going to talk about an avocado being a berry too??!?
it gets worse, strawberries aren’t berries, they’re “accessory fruits”
EXCUSE ME I NEED TO GO RETHINK MY ENTIRE LIFE
TUMBLR STOP RUINING MY PERSPECTIVE OF LIFE
kelly rowland texting her boyfriend via microsoft excel and then getting annoyed when he doesn’t text back
mum just called to tell me she was showing people through a rental house today and there was a girl there with her parents who is in year 8 and somehow they were talking about tumblr and mum said ‘i’m pizza’s mum’ and the girl freaked out and mum thought it was hilarious
did you know that if you go into your bathroom turn off the lights and say Spock three times fast he won’t appear in your mirror because that is illogical
if ellen was president of the world there would be no wars only dancing
imagine if butterflies breathed fire
but only a little bit of fire
“hi pet butterfly would you light this candle for me?”
“thanks little buddy”
“yo butterfly light my joint”
“thanks lil nigga”
Two types of wonderful people
when i die i’m gonna invite everyone i ever knew to my funeral and i’m gonna make sure that they play a remix of cotton eye joe and gangnam style and the harlem shake for two hours and whoever sticks it out to the end is going to inherit everything i have
ANONYMOUS PLAY TIME! (or not, up to you)
Send me one of these and I’ll answer.
- HYE have you ever?
- FMK fuck marry kill (with three names)
- KHC kiss hug cuddle (with three names)
- AMA ask me anything
- HON hot or not?
- WWY well would you?
- WYR would you rather?
- TOD truth or dare?
- SMW ship me with? (send me ships)
- TOT this or that?
- WIS who I ship? (with myself, or with others — specify)
MY MOM TOLD ME SHE WOULD BUY ME GRAPES BUT SHE LIED TO ME AND BOUGHT CHERRIES AND I HATE CHERRIES SO I POURED SOME OF THEM DOWN THE ICE DISPENSER SO WHEN SHE GOES TO GET ICE THE FRIDGE WILL LIE TO HER AND GIVE HER CHERRIES INSTEAD LIKE SHE DID TO ME
GUESS WHO FINALLY HAS GRAPES